Ten new ideas appear in my mind at the same time.
A new feature for meinsystem. A video I could record. A problem I want to solve immediately. One more small improvement that suddenly feels much more important than everything I had actually planned.
That is one side.
The other side is still sitting with yesterday's task. There is an open loop I did not close properly. As long as it remains open, it keeps circling. I cannot properly stop, but I also cannot calmly start something new.
So one part of me wants to run in ten directions at once. Another part does not want to take a single step until the current thing is genuinely complete.
For a long time, I thought these contradictions meant I simply did not understand myself. Now I know that I have ADHD and autism. Sometimes I do not notice them one after the other. I notice both at once.
The comparison captures something. But it is not a test
You may have seen comparisons like this in short videos:
With ADHD, you want to start ten projects. With autism, you want to finish one thing properly first. With ADHD, you seek stimulation. With autism, the same stimulation eventually becomes too much. With ADHD, you speak before the thought disappears. With autism, you rehearse conversations in your head and still cannot find the right words in the moment.
Comparisons like these can help because you suddenly recognise part of yourself. But they can also make it look as though there are two neat boxes. ADHD on the left. Autism on the right. All you have to do is count which side has more points.
It is not that simple.
ADHD and autism are different, but some visible behaviours can overlap. People also experience ADHD and autism in very different ways. One trait therefore says nothing about a diagnosis on its own. Diagnosis requires a broader picture, developmental history and professional assessment.
The comparison still matters to me. Not as a test, but as language for the opposing needs I experience every day.
Ten new projects or finishing one thing first?
My ADHD loves the beginning.
A new idea has energy. It is still full of possibility, not yet difficult and not yet boring. A new feature for meinsystem can therefore become enormous in my mind within minutes. I suddenly see what it could look like, what it could solve and everything I would need to build.
The problem is that the old task has not disappeared.
My autistic side often cannot simply leave it. When something remains open, it keeps running internally. Even after I close the laptop, my mind is still with the bug, the reply or the detail I did not finish. Switching to the next task, or even into the evening, takes real effort.
The result is not a perfect combination of creativity and persistence. It is often more like a traffic jam. New ideas press forward from behind while the open loop blocks the road ahead.
I can neither finish the old task calmly nor simply forget the new idea.
Seeking stimulation or escaping from it?
For me, music used to be the fastest route to stimulation.
Open my phone. Put in my headphones. Turn on music. My brain was occupied immediately. Especially in the morning, that was much easier than exercise, silence or any task that only started to feel rewarding after a few minutes.
At the same time, I am very sensitive to sensory input. Noise, light, messages, open tabs and thoughts can keep piling up until my mind shuts down. At that point, no motivating playlist or podcast helps. I need my Loop earplugs, a silent phone, fewer programs and sometimes simply quiet.
From the outside, that also looks contradictory. A moment ago I desperately wanted input. Shortly afterwards I can barely tolerate any.
Both are true for me. My ADHD seeks quick stimulation. My autistic nervous system can become overloaded by that exact stimulation. What matters is not only which input is present, but how much has already accumulated and how much capacity I have left that day.
Speaking immediately or rehearsing the conversation?
I notice the same conflict in conversations.
Sometimes a thought has to come out immediately because I am afraid I will lose it otherwise. Internally, I chase every sentence, hold on to several possible answers and try to keep following the conversation at the same time. Sitting still and looking calm requires additional energy.
In other situations, I prepare conversations in my head. What will I say first? How might the other person respond? What will I answer then? A spontaneous call can still catch me so completely off guard that the prepared words are suddenly inaccessible.
When I am overstimulated or exhausted, speaking itself becomes difficult. I cannot quickly reply or briefly explain something. Not because I have nothing to say. My mind simply cannot reach the place where the words are stored quickly enough.
One does not cancel out the other. Being able to speak quickly and at length does not mean communication is always easy. Preparing a conversation does not mean you can automatically speak when the moment arrives.
Forgetting things while details refuse to let go
I have left keys behind, forgotten appointments and lost track of food, water and time in hyperfocus.
At the same time, I can spend hours buried in one detail of my app. A small inconsistency stays in my mind until it is resolved. Not everything is important, but my brain does not always assign importance in the way my calendar or body would find useful.
To me, this is less a contradiction between a bad and a good memory. It is a difference in what my mind holds on to and what it does not reliably translate into action.
I can know that I have an appointment at 3 pm and still not feel that I need to leave now. I can know that drinking matters and still forget it during hyperfocus. At the same time, an unfinished detail from yesterday can remain so present that I cannot switch off in the evening.
This uneven attention is difficult to explain if you have never experienced it yourself.
What happens when both sides are present at once
ADHD and autism can occur together. Some people call the combination AuDHD.
To me, it does not feel like 50 percent ADHD and 50 percent autism. It is not a clean handover in which one takes the morning and the other takes the evening.
It is more like this:
I need fixed routines and become bored by them.
I want to follow a new idea spontaneously and become overwhelmed by spontaneous changes.
I seek input and need quiet.
I lose the thread and still cannot let go of an open loop.
I want a clear plan and sometimes resist that plan as soon as it starts to feel like a demand.
That is exactly why conventional productivity systems often worked for me for only a few days. Most of them served one side. Either maximum freedom or maximum structure. My mind needs both.
What genuinely helps me in daily life
I no longer try to work out which side is right. I build my daily life so that both sides have fewer reasons to fight each other.
New ideas get a parking space. I do not have to act on them immediately, but I do not have to hold them in my head either. I write them down and return to the current task.
The next step stays visible. Not a list of 50 equally important tasks. Only what is due now. That gives my ADHD an easier entry point and my autism clarity.
Open loops get a clean stopping point. Not everything has to be finished on the same day. But I note where I stopped and what comes next. My mind no longer has to keep the task open all night.
I choose stimulation deliberately. Music is not bad and silence is not always better. I simply ask more often: is this input helping me right now, or is it automatically filling every free second? When my system is already full, I reduce input earlier.
Transitions belong in the plan. I need buffer time before appointments. After deep focus, I need time to switch. Those minutes are not wasted time. They are part of the task.
Recurring things are decided once. My morning routine, daily essentials and fixed sequences are already there. On a difficult day, I do not have to invent them again.
These experiences are exactly why I built meinsystem.app. My routines, tasks, appointments and goals live in one place. Not so I can accomplish more every day, but so my mind has to carry fewer things at once.
One small step you can try today
Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle.
On the left, write: This keeps pulling me somewhere else.
On the right, write: This keeps me stuck internally.
Write just three things on each side. No diagnosis and no complete analysis of your life. Just one small observation of your daily experience.
You may not see a solution immediately. But you may recognise where your system needs more freedom and more support at the same time.
That is where you can begin. Not with a perfect plan. With a parking space for new ideas, one visible next step or ten minutes of buffer before the next transition.
You do not have to choose a side
If you relate to both sides, it does not automatically mean you have ADHD and autism. A short comparison on the internet cannot determine that.
But you do not have to dismiss your experiences simply because they seem contradictory.
You can need structure and still seek novelty. You can speak a lot and still find communication difficult. You can seek stimulation and become overwhelmed by it. You can forget things and carry other details with you for years.
For me, the most important realisation was not which side was stronger.
It was that both sides belong to me. And that I do not have to build my daily life against my mind.
I am allowed to build a system that considers both.
Sources and further context
- NICE: Autism spectrum disorder in adults discusses differences in flexibility, sensory processing and emotional regulation, as well as the wide variation between individuals.
- NICE: Recommendations for assessment and support emphasises comprehensive assessment, possible coexisting neurodevelopmental conditions and the importance of clarity, structure and sensory adaptations.
- CDC: ADHD in adults describes difficulties with attention, lengthy tasks, organisation and internal restlessness.
This article describes my personal experience. It is not a substitute for medical or psychological assessment.