I stand in front of the fridge in the morning and stare inside.
Yoghurt. Leftovers from yesterday. Eggs. Something I meant to buy. I look once, then again, waiting for one option to feel right. Nothing does. I reach for something and put it back. Eventually I close the fridge, stand there, and already feel tired.
And the day has barely begun.
This is not laziness
For a long time, I thought I was simply lazy. Too indecisive. Everyone else seemed to do this without any effort, while I stood in front of the fridge as if I were taking an exam.
Now I understand what is happening. I have ADHD and autism, both at the same time. That combination makes decisions even harder than either condition would on its own.
Why ADHD is already difficult on its own
With ADHD, executive functions work differently. Planning, prioritising and getting started are exactly the areas that fail first for me under pressure. Every decision, even a small one, takes real processing energy from my brain.
The difficult part is that it looks trivial from the outside. What should I eat for breakfast? Which T-shirt should I wear? Should I reply to that message now or later? Each question seems insignificant. Put them together before nine in the morning, and my tank is already half empty before I even sit down at my desk.
Then there is the dopamine side of it. My brain does not automatically reward me for things that do not interest me. So even when I know what I should do, getting started can still feel heavy. There is no internal signal saying: do this now.
Why autism makes it even more complicated
The autistic part of me needs almost the exact opposite of what ADHD produces.
My brain needs predictability, clear sequences and as few open questions as possible. When I do not know what comes next, it takes a disproportionate amount of energy. An unexpected decision is not a brief moment of thought. It starts a complete process: How do I do this? How do I begin? What happens afterwards? I have to work through all of that before I can start anything.
And then this happens: ADHD means I do not have a clear plan. Autism means the lack of a plan can stop me completely. The two pull in opposite directions while I am stuck in the middle, still standing in front of the fridge.
On a good day, I can work for ten hours and forget to eat. On a bad day, I stand in the bathroom unable to decide whether to brush my teeth or get dressed first.
That is not an exaggeration. It is simply what it feels like.
What has genuinely helped me
I stopped trying to become better at making decisions. Instead, I began making as many decisions as possible in advance, at a time when my mind still had capacity.
It was not a big optimisation project. I simply wrote down what I do every morning, step by step: get up, go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, exercise, eat breakfast. It sounds basic, I know. But once it is written down, I no longer have to decide it in the morning. I can just follow the plan.
That is the difference between “What do I do now?” and “I will check what comes next and then do it.”
That difference is enormous, especially on days when my brain is not cooperating.
The autistic part of me is comfortable because there are no surprises. The ADHD part is relieved because starting no longer requires a decision. For the first time, both parts move in the same direction instead of fighting each other.
What that looks like in practice
In the morning, I open my system and see what is coming up. I do not have to prioritise, sort or think it through. I start with the first step and tick it off.
That has changed my daily life more than any productivity book I ever started and then forgot to finish three days later.
If this sounds familiar, start small. Tonight, write down what you are going to do tomorrow morning anyway. Include every step. Put the list somewhere you will see it when you wake up.
That is the first step. Nothing more.
I turned this approach into meinsystem.app. You can explore it for free.