It is late. I am tired. My eyes are burning, and I know perfectly well that tomorrow morning would be easier if I went to bed now.
And still I remain where I am.
Just fix this one small bug. Just one more video. Just quickly check what is happening tomorrow. Then I take my phone to the sofa even though I was already about to stand up. Five minutes become forty. Eventually I am not merely tired but wired, irritable and disappointed in myself at the same time.
From the outside, the solution is obvious: just go to sleep.
From the inside, going to bed does not feel like one decision. It is the end of something, a transition, an entire chain of small steps – and that is exactly where things become difficult for my mind.
There is a term for this delay: bedtime procrastination.
I knew the behaviour long before I knew the term. I simply thought I lacked discipline. Today I understand more clearly why the transition into the night is so much more than “lights out” for me with ADHD and autism.
What bedtime procrastination means
In research, bedtime procrastination describes going to bed later than intended even though no external circumstances prevent it.
That addition matters. If your child is ill, you work a night shift or noise keeps you awake, you are not voluntarily delaying bedtime. With bedtime procrastination, sleep would generally be possible. Yet a gap opens between “I should” and “I am going”.
Studies associate this delay with shorter sleep duration, poorer sleep quality and more daytime fatigue. They show relationships, not automatically one simple cause. Chronotype, stress, psychological distress, habits and genuine sleep disorders can all matter too.
Bedtime procrastination is not a diagnosis of its own either. The term can describe a behaviour. On its own, it does not explain why someone stays awake at night.
Why tiredness does not automatically get me into bed
I can be physically tired and still be unable to organise the transition mentally.
That sounds contradictory, but to me it resembles ADHD paralysis: I know what the next sensible step would be. That knowledge simply does not turn into an action by itself.
Going to bed also does not consist of one step. I have to stop what I am doing, secure an open thought, close the laptop, stand up, go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, get changed, reduce input and accept a state in which nothing new is happening.
When my mind is already empty at the end of the day, this small chain suddenly feels like another task.
The bed is not the problem. The route there is.
What the delay looks like for me
Sometimes I remain stuck in work. I want to finish just one more part because the whole context is currently available in my mind. Stopping feels like deliberately dropping the thread. I wrote more about that in my article on ADHD hyperfocus.
On other evenings I am no longer working at all. Then I am only looking for quick input. One video leads to the next. I open something on my phone without consciously deciding what I want there. The day was demanding and my mind finally wants something that asks nothing of it.
For a moment, that feels like free time. It is not always recovery.
While I scroll, the clock remains in the background. I know it is getting late. I calculate how many hours of sleep are left. But that pressure does not necessarily make me more capable of acting. Sometimes it holds me even more firmly because the simple act of going to bed has become another moment I have already done “wrong”.
Then the familiar negotiation begins:
Only until the next full hour.
Just this one video.
It is already too late anyway.
I will do better tomorrow.
Four things that make my evenings particularly difficult
1. I have to leave something, not merely enter bed
Going to sleep is a task transition. I leave an activity, a room and often an entire inner world.
When I am deep in meinsystem, an article or a problem, the end of work is not simply the absence of work. My mind has to dismantle the whole context. That takes effort – especially when I do not plan the transition until I am already exhausted.
2. Open loops want to come to bed with me
An unanswered message. A bug whose cause I have almost understood. An idea I do not want to lose.
Those things do not automatically become quiet when I close the laptop. If I have no safe place for them, my mind tries to hold on to them. Continuing to work then feels more sensible than sleeping, even though I will have less energy to continue the following day.
3. Time feels even less precise in the evening
“Another ten minutes” is not a reliable unit for me. That is closely connected to my time blindness with AuDHD.
When nobody calls and no appointment marks the next part of the day, the evening loses its edges. A video, a detail or a thought can fill all available time until the clock suddenly startles me.
4. Quick stimulation is easier than a quiet night
My phone offers something new immediately. Sleep only offers its reward tomorrow.
After a day full of demands, the screen can therefore feel like the easier path. I do not have to prepare anything, tolerate anything or organise a transition. The next stimulus arrives by itself.
That does not mean the phone is the only cause. If I merely put it away but have no landing strip for the evening, I sometimes find another open loop instead.
When ADHD and autism are both involved
Two needs meet in me.
My ADHD looks for one more piece of input, novelty or quick reward in the evening. My autistic side simultaneously finds it difficult to leave the current state and wants to complete open contexts properly.
So I can be tired, barely tolerate any more stimulation and still keep looking at a bright screen. I want quiet and feed my mind new input at the same time. I need a fixed evening routine and sometimes resist it at exactly the moment it begins to feel like one more demand.
A meta-analysis of adults with ADHD or autism found that, on average, both groups showed outcomes including longer sleep onset, poorer sleep efficiency and lower self-reported sleep quality than comparison groups. That says nothing about how every individual sleeps. But it helps me understand why “just go to bed earlier” is too simple.
Not every sleep problem is procrastination
This distinction matters to me because otherwise blame quickly returns.
If I could go to bed but keep delaying it, bedtime procrastination may describe that behaviour.
If I am in bed and cannot fall asleep despite being tired, wake frequently, struggle to breathe, experience intense restlessness or consistently get no restorative sleep, something else may be involved. Medication, mental health conditions, pain, sleep apnoea, restless legs or a delayed sleep-wake rhythm can all affect sleep too.
Adults with ADHD report sleep problems more often in studies. At the same time, sleep disorders can worsen concentration, impulsivity and mood or resemble ADHD symptoms. Persistent problems should therefore not be treated only as a bad habit.
If sleep problems continue for weeks, significantly affect your daily life or you barely sleep for several nights, a medical or psychological assessment is sensible. I would not change medication or start melatonin on my own, but discuss it with a qualified professional.
What helps me actually go to bed
In the evening, I do not need more information about why sleep matters. I need less friction between what I am currently doing and the bed.
1. My evening routine begins before my last bit of energy
If I only decide at midnight that the evening routine starts now, my most exhausted self is suddenly expected to organise everything.
An earlier first marker works better for me: secure my work, note tomorrow's next step, close the laptop. That is not bedtime yet. It is the start of the landing.
The actual routine can come later. What matters is that the day already has a direction before my mind refuses every additional decision.
2. I plan the end of work, not only bedtime
“Asleep by 11 pm” skips the most difficult part: stopping.
That is why I need two times. One for beginning to wind down and one for getting into bed. Between them is enough space so I do not have to jump straight from hyperfocus into darkness.
That buffer is not a bonus. It is part of the transition.
3. Open loops get a parking space
Before I close the laptop, I note:
- What did I finish today?
- Where exactly will I continue tomorrow?
- Which idea is allowed to wait until then?
One sentence is often enough: “Tomorrow, first test the calendar bug on the iPhone.”
My mind no longer has to keep the task open all night. The route back in now lives outside my working memory.
4. The alarm contains the next action
An alarm labelled “Sleep!” feels like a demand and is easy to dismiss.
“Save laptop. Get water. Bathroom.” is more useful.
The signal does not demand the whole transition at once. It shows only the first visible movement. Just as starting a task becomes easier when the next step is small enough, stopping does too.
5. My phone gets a place and I get a replacement
“No more phone” leaves a hole. After a demanding day, my mind still wants something pleasant.
Distance works better when I already know what comes instead: quiet music, a familiar audiobook, a few pages of a book, a warm shower or simply dim light and silence.
My phone charges outside my reach. Not as a moral test, but because I do not negotiate fairly with an endless feed at night.
6. The routine has a minimum version
On good evenings I can do everything. On difficult evenings I need a short track.
My minimum version can be as small as essential medication or other care, brushing my teeth, setting the alarm and getting into bed.
If I believe only the perfect evening routine counts, eventually I do not begin it at all. A short version keeps the route open.
You can also copy my free ADHD evening routine and shorten it until it remains realistic on a difficult evening.
7. I do not use one bad night as evidence against myself
Shame does not reliably prevent my next late night. It only makes the evening more threatening.
When it has become too late again, I try not to analyse my entire life at 1:30 am. I take the next small step. The next day I can look at where the transition jammed: working too late, an open loop, too much input or a routine that was too large.
That is more useful than deciding I simply did not want it enough.
My ten-minute plan for tonight
If you are tired right now and still cannot stop, do not immediately build the perfect sleep system. Take ten minutes:
- Secure the thread: Write one sentence about where you will continue tomorrow.
- End the device: Save, close and put your laptop or phone in its place.
- Change the light: Make the work area darker and the route to the bathroom visible.
- Care for your body: Toilet, teeth, water, medication – only what is necessary.
- Get into bed: Do not first check whether you feel “ready” now.
If you are in bed after ten minutes, the routine was complete enough.
Why I built meinsystem for the end of the day too
Many planning systems help me fill the day. I need just as much help ending it.
In meinsystem.app, I can break an evening routine into small steps once. I can see what comes next without rebuilding the entire sequence in my tired mind. Open tasks remain saved. Tomorrow does not disappear just because I close the laptop today.
That is why routines, tasks, appointments and focus belong together for me. A good system does not only remind me to be productive. It also gives me permission to be finished.
The routines in meinsystem are not a promise that every evening will be calm. They are an external track for the moments when my mind can no longer assemble the route by itself.
Being tired and being able to stop are two different things
For a long time, I believed my body only had to become tired enough. Then sleep would automatically win.
That is not always how it works for me.
Tiredness tells me that I need rest. It does not automatically organise the transition there. For that, I need a visible endpoint, a safe place for open thoughts and an evening routine that remains possible with very little energy.
If you find yourself stuck on your phone or laptop again at night, that does not automatically mean you do not care about your health.
Perhaps you do not lack more discipline.
Perhaps you lack a landing strip.
Frequently asked questions about ADHD and sleep
Is bedtime procrastination an ADHD symptom?
Bedtime procrastination is not an official diagnostic criterion for ADHD and is not a diagnosis of its own. Difficulties with time perception, transitions, self-regulation and stopping rewarding activities may contribute to the delay for some people with ADHD. The behaviour alone does not demonstrate ADHD.
Why do I suddenly feel awake at night after being tired earlier?
There can be many reasons: new input, bright light, stress, hyperfocus, a later chronotype or a sleep problem. A brief burst of energy in the evening cannot be explained reliably by one mechanism. If it happens frequently and affects your sleep, a professional assessment is sensible.
What is the smallest useful step for an ADHD evening routine?
For me, it is a clear starting point outside the bed: secure the current task, close the device and go to the bathroom. The routine should have a minimum version that still works on an exhausted evening. Regularity can help, but a routine must fit your actual energy and any possible medical causes.
Sources and further context
- Díaz-Román, Mitchell & Cortese (2018): Sleep in adults with ADHD is a systematic review and meta-analysis of subjective and objective sleep parameters in adults with ADHD.
- Carlson et al. (2023): The thief of (bed)time examined bedtime procrastination and several dimensions of sleep health using daily sleep diaries.
- Kroese et al. (2014): Bedtime procrastination introduced the term for delaying bedtime despite having the opportunity and intention to sleep.
- Ramos-Quiroga et al. (2021): Sleep in adults with autism spectrum disorder and ADHD summarises sleep differences in adults with autism and ADHD.
- InformedHealth.org: What can you do if you have trouble sleeping? provides independent information on sleep hygiene, regularity and persistent sleep problems.
This article describes my personal experience and general information. It is not a substitute for medical or psychological assessment or treatment.