Your appointment is at 3 pm. By eleven, you are already watching the clock. There seems too little time for a big project, but no small task comes to mind. You wait, and the appointment takes up more of your day than its actual slot in the calendar.
Here, waiting mode means this everyday situation: an upcoming appointment occupies your attention while other activities feel difficult to start. It describes an experience, not a separate diagnosis. These planning ideas are options to try, rather than an explanation of why you personally feel this way.
1. Count the time until you need to get ready
In this fictional example, Alex has a 3 pm appointment. The journey is expected to take 40 minutes. Alex wants to arrive at 2:50 and needs 20 minutes beforehand for a bag, shoes and paperwork.
| Time | What happens |
|---|---|
| 3:00 pm | Appointment starts |
| 2:50 pm | Arrive and find the right place |
| 2:10 pm | Leave |
| 1:50 pm | Start getting ready |
| 1:40 pm | Stop the previous activity; ten minutes to switch |
| 12:30–12:45 pm | Optional: one small activity with a clear finish |
These times illustrate the calculation. Check your actual route, access, preparation and an appropriate buffer. The useful question is: How long until preparation starts, rather than just until the appointment?
2. Give an activity a visible finish
“Do some housework” has no clear end. “Fold five dry towels” does. Instead of “work on the project”, a limited step could be “write down the three questions for the next conversation”.
Choose something you can actually put down when you stop. A quick start that creates further necessary steps may not fit this window. An update of unknown length or an involved cooking task does not become small because you intend to start quickly.
Reading two pages, eating something or deliberately resting are also options. Free time is not an instruction to fit in as many tasks as possible.
3. Decide how to stop before you start
Alex chooses the towels between 12:30 and 12:45. Afterwards, Alex can look again; this is not a commitment to a whole productive morning. Any later activity still needs to stop by 1:40.
Decide in advance what stopping involves: put the materials down, mark where you got to and switch to getting ready. If something is usually hard to interrupt, choose another activity for this window or leave it open.
4. Connect a reminder to a specific action
If you use reminders, name the next step: “1:40 — stop and note where I got to” or “1:50 — bag and shoes”. Check the sound, device and timing for your situation. A reminder cannot guarantee that you will notice it or switch immediately.
You do not need to keep checking the appointment to do this. If information is missing, such as the address, checking it belongs in preparation. The existing article on preparing for appointments with ADHD covers keeping the location, journey and documents together.
5. The window can stay open if nothing fits
Perhaps the journey is uncertain, you need more preparation or you do not want another commitment before the appointment. “I will eat something and then get ready” is a complete decision.
Do not shrink the buffer you need to squeeze in a task. If the appointment changes, check preparation and departure again. Urgent work and existing responsibilities need their own decision; this example does not cancel them.
6. A note you can copy
Appointment and location: …
Leave / log in for an online appointment: …
Start getting ready: …
Possible activity beforehand, or deliberately open: …
Visible finish for that activity: …
Stop and switch at: …
For a smaller version, keep two details: When does preparation start? What will I do until then — or leave open? The note does not need to become a new planning system.
7. Try it with one actual appointment
Take your next later appointment. Work backwards from the arrival time you want and choose at most one limited activity beforehand. Afterwards, ask: Was the finish clear? Did the transition fit? What would you allow differently next time?
For more context on time intervals and departure times, see time blindness with AuDHD. For today, one decision about what actually fits before preparation is enough.