I wake up in the morning and there is immediate chaos in my head.
What should I eat? Do I have an appointment today? What do I need to do? Did I forget something yesterday? Should I get up now, or can I lie down for a little longer?
These are not two or three thoughts. They are twenty thoughts at the same time, and I often cannot tell which one matters. I am already so overwhelmed in the morning that I do nothing at all, return to bed, or open social media and start doomscrolling.
Then you sit there in bed and wonder: What is wrong with me? Why does this seem so easy for everyone else?
I tried everything
So I did what people generally do: I looked for a system.
Notion. Two weeks setting it up, three days using it, then deleting it. To-do apps. The lists grew longer until I could no longer tell what was important. Calendar apps. Every appointment was in there, but I still did not know what I was supposed to do for each one. Productivity books. Started, then forgotten after three days.
The worst part was not that no system worked. It was the thought behind every failed attempt: everyone else can manage this. What is wrong with me? Am I stupid? Am I not trying hard enough?
That shame brought me down badly. Honestly, I came close to accepting that I was simply too broken for any of it.
But I did not give up.
Why having both ADHD and autism can be so difficult
My name is Max. I have ADHD and autism spectrum disorder, both at the same time. This is often called AuDHD, and it can feel as if your own brain is fighting itself.
With ADHD, working memory functions differently. I am not unintelligent, but my brain can juggle fewer things at once. Planning, prioritising and starting are executive functions, and they are the first to fail under stress. When I get up in the morning, I have no idea what to do. There are a million thoughts in my head, so I end up doing nothing.
There is also the dopamine side of ADHD. My brain does not reward me for things that do not interest me. When something holds no interest, focusing on it can feel almost unbearable. That is why I constantly want to start something new instead of doing what is currently needed.
Then there is the autistic part. My brain needs predictability, structure and routine. Without them, I can have a meltdown or become completely overwhelmed and overstimulated. Every unexpected decision takes far more energy than it would for a neurotypical person because I first have to work through everything step by step: How do I do this? How do I start? Why am I doing it? I need to understand those things before I can properly begin.
On good days, I can work for ten hours in hyperfocus and forget to eat or drink. On bad days, I stand in the bathroom and cannot decide whether to brush my teeth or get dressed first.
The combination is genuinely difficult. Autism says: I need structure. ADHD says: no, I want to start something new. You are constantly caught in that struggle. It took me a very long time to understand what was happening.
What I did next
I stopped looking for systems and started writing down my own.
At first, I did not try to optimise my daily life. I simply observed it. What do I do every day? Which things do I decide again each day even though they rarely change? Then I wrote down every single step.
For example: get up, go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, take supplements, exercise, eat breakfast, read something. It sounds almost silly, I know. But it works because it gives my brain exactly what it needs.
The autistic part gets predictability: the same sequence every day, with no surprises. The ADHD part does not have to plan. I divided my day into small blocks and grouped the things I regularly do.
My previous morning routine looked like this: wake up, reach for my phone, doomscroll, feel bad, have no idea what to do, lose the day.
Today, I get up, open my system and see what is next. Every step is already there, and I simply tick it off. That also works on days when very little is possible. Even on a bad day, I can see which things are genuinely essential and which are not. The foundation remains in place.
I also designed the app so that ticking things off feels satisfying. Finishing something gives me a small dopamine boost, which keeps the ADHD side engaged too.
On bad days, I no longer have to think everything through. I can see my system and know what is planned. I follow the plan I wrote on a good day, when my mind had enough capacity.
This system has reduced my meltdowns and crashes because I no longer have to juggle all these things in my head. It is not a cure. I still have meltdowns and I still struggle, but I can see a meaningful difference.
What you can do now
If you recognise yourself in this, take one idea with you: observe your day without trying to change it. No perfectionism and no pressure. Simply notice what you do every morning and what you usually do around midday. Then write it down, step by step: I get up. I brush my teeth. I do this next.
Then look for ways to group those steps into blocks you can repeat without having to think about them. A morning routine that stays the same. An evening routine that stays the same. You already have two areas that no longer demand fresh decisions every day.
The system I have developed over the years lives in meinsystem.app. You can explore it for free, use it as a starting point, or simply take inspiration from it.
One more thing before you scroll on: you are not broken. You are not wrong. Your brain works differently, and that is okay. There are ways forward. Things can get better.
Do not give up on yourself.